Raw Reflections on Mother's Day
Recently I came across old yoga photos of myself running a retreat in Bali super fit, tan, very bendy. I had a twinge of missing that part of my life and how much time I had for yoga and meditation. Then I got up and did simple stretches in the living room while Bodhi drove his dump truck over my back and made me laugh as he did a down dog under mine. This, I thought, is my practice now …and it's amazing and challenging in its own wonderful way.
Crossing the threshold into motherhood initiated me into the most humbling, heart opening, challenging and beautiful spiritual practice I've yet experienced.
My heart explodes with love and breaks with grief weekly as I watch Bodhi grow. Delighting in the smallest new words and crying over the now too small shoes. I've had to learn to ride another level of waves of emotions.
My ego has died a million deaths in the last two and half years and I know it will shatter a million times more as I recalibrate my sense of self again and again through the changes of motherhood. Never have I felt such a clear sense of joy in daily purpose caring for a little human…and at the same time struggled with self worth and what I'm doing as I let go of career goals and productivity to make space to be present.
The exhaustion, the mess and the mama instinct hyper vigilance has tipped me way off of my yogi meditating centre …but then the simple joys of chasing bubbles, tickles, kisses and the endless wonder of discovery brings me deeply back into the present like nothing before.
Motherhood is not for the faint at heart. It is a wild, beautiful roller coaster that you never get off of, with breathtaking views and jaw clenching drops.
To every mother out there I honour your courage and strength! You are all spiritual warriors. I honour every challenge, every doubt, every silly gesture, every difficult boundary, every gentle kiss, every self sacrifice, every stage of change, every tight hug and every letting go as a beautiful perfect part of our practice as spirits on a human journey.
Deep bow to motherhood. Deep bow to all mothers. Jai Ma. Happy Mother's Day! 
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As a registered counsellor I use evidence based Holistic and Somatic approaches to support clients to access their inner wisdom and learn tools for self empowerment as they navigate life's ups and downs, stressors, grief, trauma and more.
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